Save Me, Obama

To the tune of “Lady Madonna”

Save me, Obama
Stimulate my life
Please improve my credit, my job, my wife
Bail out my bar tab
Subsidize my rent
Isn’t that the point of the government?

Bills and banks and Baghdad are a bummer
Please appoint a breast-enhancement czar
Tell GM I really need a Hummer
And a new car!

Save me, Obama
Fix my abs and hair
Buy my Frappucinos with Medicare
Spank all the bankers
Bring a lasting peace
To the Yanks and Red Sox and Middle East

Stop Shiites from settling fights the mob way
Find me jobs in Fiji and St Croix
Purge the graft from hell-holes like Zimbabwe
And Illinois!

Save me, Obama
Find a cure for gas
Leave your carbon footprint on OPEC’s ass
Hug North Korea
Shoot hoops with Iran
Can we ask for everything? Yes we can!

Make each Christian, Muslim, Jew, and Mormon
All join hands and sing Give Peace a Chance
Ending death and spam and global warmin’
And menstrual cramps!

Save me, Obama
Left and Right agree
This is now the United States of Me!

…and I want a pony…and an iPhone…and a two-state solution in Gaza…and a reintroduction of the Dodo bird to its native habitat…and an end to hunger in sub-Saharan Africa…and a weekly six-figure allowance…

Compare and contrast with “Leper Madonna” by Beatallica


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